53 - Charge!

Charge!

Hills are great groans to grown ups, aren't they? We nearly pant as we push our legs grudgingly step-by-slow-step upwards. But to children, a hill is a delight -- a welcome challenge, and invitation, even, to spring into a trot up and down and up and down. Their giggles of delight as they propel their little bodies upward is only topped by their thrilled squeals as they stumble down, high on the fear that they may actually tumble head-over-heals the rest of the way. It makes most of us tired just to watch them. But if you do just get up and give it a try, you see what they love. The challenge, the satisfaction, and then the wind-in-your-face run/stumble down, where if you think too much about your feet you're likely to fall, but if you just let your body do what it knows, you make it to the bottom exhilarated (and winded). The satisfying plop down into the grass as you laugh deep into your gut, because you're breathing so hard, makes you remember childhood -- makes you feel like you are there all over again, if only for a few moments.

52 - Homework

Homework

Niko, who routinely gets two pages of homework a day, has been experimenting with how to do it. We've tried the bland "at the kitchen table" method. We've tried the refreshing "on the front porch with a TV tray" method. But the method he likes the best is the "snuggled into my bean bag chair in my room writing on my lap" method. Probably not the one his sweet teacher would recommend. I can hardly stand these glimpses of his teen years -- stubbornly insisting that laying down in bed IS the best way to study for biology, or that he CAN do algebra with the television on. But for now, I am happy that he seems to enjoy carefully scratching out his capital and lowercase letters, disproportionate though they often are. I love watching him slowly come out of infancy and childhood and into personhood. The word "blossom" is so overused that one hardly considers the imagery that is so perfect -- the small, closed, plain-green bud that slowly grows and opens to allow the emergence of a vibrant, unique flower. I enjoy watching him blossom through all of these little experiences and stages. What a blessing motherhood is!

41 • Sweet

Sweet

Wouldn't it be divine to feast all day long on the sweet nectar of flowers. You are delicate, stunningly beautiful, and your only care in the world is to find another beautiful blossom on which to daintily perch and sip. Especially after starting life as a belly-crawling, dirt-in-your-fuzz caterpillar, worried moment to moment that you'll be stepped on or snatched by a winged mom eager to feed you to the half-dozen upturned crying beaks that wait for her a million miles up in a tree. The two weeks of "old age" as a butterfly seem like a great way to conclude one's life -- especially compared to how most of us humans will struggle through ours.

50 • Playtime

Playtime

Stefanie wasn't quite sure what to make of this playful, thousand-pound polar bear, who we watched swim with a small ball for 10 minutes this morning. The size of his padded paws, flattened against the water as he swam, was awesome. He would hold the ball close and swim to the bottom of the tank, and then release the ball and try to catch it again as it raced to the surface -- humorous, since he seemed to be purposefully giving himself the workout over and over. Until, that is, he decided he was done, at which point he gracefully exited the pool with a quick shake of wet fur, and ambled off out of sight.

49 • Not Photoshop

Not Photoshop

The dolphin show today was filled with the usual splashes and clap-to-the-beat music. I hardly remember taking this picture -- juggling two nap-ready preschoolers at 2:30 after a liturgy and several hours at the zoo put my picture-taking on auto-pilot. But looking at this now it doesn't look like it could possibly be real -- except for the trail of water droplets as evidence of her quick ascent out of the water just a moment before I snapped the photo. Sometimes truth is stranger than fiction :-)

48 • Wisconsin

Wisconsin

This picture is really out of order. This was from Memorial Day weekend -- I agonized over selecting a photo from that weekend to post, and apparently never made a decision!

I actually don't like pine trees very much at all. I mean, I like the green color during winter, but in general, especially in suburbia, I think they always somehow look dirty and unhealthy. But even I love how this photo looks -- and it makes me think about how all it takes is a really close (intimate) look at something to see its beauty. How many people look a disheveled mess on the outside, but begin to shine in our eyes once we speak with them and learn their story, their passions, their hopes, their longsuffering through pain. A good lesson to remind us not simply to "never judge a book by its cover," but to take the time to open the cover and read the book.

47 • Corn

Corn

I know corn on the cob is a popular summer staple, but I had no idea a tropical parrot would enjoy it as much as my kiddos do. I love the rich, vibrant colors of this bird, and juxtaposed with the bright yellow corn, how could I not love this photo?

46 • Delicioso

Delicioso!

Not a morsel of chocolate nor a smear of ice cream escaped my kitty cat's tongue during our special lunch downtown. She made darn sure of that.

44 • The morning after

The morning after

43 • Liftoff

Liftoff

A great way to spend Father's Day: Steve being the quintessential wonderful dad that he is, blasting off rockets with the kids in the park near the house where he grew up.

42 • Wash day

Wash day

There is something magical about water, a sponge, and soapy bubbles on a hot day.

41 • Rain

Rain

The rain rain rain came down down down

and the kids ran out to greet it.

Their tongues tongues tongues got wet wet wet

as they stuck em out to taste it.

Morning spring rains are great for barefeet pajama running around outside. You'd have thought I spent a hundred dollars on a new toy, the way they were giggling and jumping and looking at me so lovingly, cool wet drops dripping from their chins, ears, and noses.

40 • American PreSchool

American PreSchool

This picture is so wonderful because their faces are not just blank "happy" smiles -- I could write volumes about what they're each thinking. What do you imagine what the little thought bubbles would read? Oh yeah, and the kid biting into that cupcake in the background is pretty awesome too. =)

39 • Spray me!

Spray me!

I'm back. I have more to say about that, but for now, a photo for your viewing pleasure. Thank you to those of you who kept checking in over this last month's hiatus. I am glad to be back!

38 • Yum

Yum

This evening provided a stark juxtaposition of food. We started the night at a restaurant, where the meal was expertly and meticulously prepared with attention to both taste and presentation. A pinch of this, a gentle warming of that, a searing of this, a sprinkling of that. Our bellies were nourished, yes, but also our taste buds and our eyes were entertained and delighted.

And then we went to see Oceans, Disney's new documentary about underwater life. Again, our eyes and ears were delighted -- it was stunning to see. But I couldn't help noticing how differently food was portrayed in the animal kingdom. It was snatched, swallowed whole, with little attention even to removing, say, the shell from the baby turtle. At best, a creature might break the leg of the crab to suck the meat out -- but another creature just vacuumed the bottom of the seabed, sucking up not only green grasses but also sand, debris, and surely fecal matter from other fish. Food was nourishment -- in fact, I would say it was a barrier to enjoying life, because it was the primary task one had to accomplish. Whales traveled literally thousands of miles, meanwhile shedding hundreds and hundreds of pounds in hunger, in order to find their feeding ground in the north.

It all makes me a little less grumpy about my not-so-difficult task of preparing three certainly-more-delicious-than-any-of-that meals every day for my family.

37 • Gold

Gold

I was thinking about the Robert Frost poem this week, Nothing Gold Can Stay.

Nature's first green is gold,
Her hardest hue to hold.
Her early leafs a flower;
But only so an hour.
Then leaf subsides to leaf.
So Eden sank to grief,
So dawn goes down to day.
Nothing gold can stay.

It seemed particularly appropriate as I walked past these beautiful lilac trees yesterday -- all the sweet smells and charming colors of spring last such a short while. Lilacs bring vivid memories of my Yiayia Jennie, my dad's mom. She loved lilacs, and had them her yard. The smell takes me right back there, eagerly bringing stems of fragrant flowers into her kitchen as if they were a brilliant surprise. She too was gold -- as we all are. We come, we radiate (we hope!) joy and beauty to the world around us, and then we fade away. We are stunning, and we wilt. I don't mean it to be depressing -- it is just the truth. A reminder to enjoy it while it is, because at some point, it won't be any more. And if we don't notice, see--experience--this gold that surrounds us, it will vanish and we won't even have the memory. How grateful I am to, even for a moment, be back in Yiayia's yard tossing lilacs like confetti across the grass, or peering through the water-glass vase of purple petals as the adults talked over coffee. Nothing gold can stay.

36 • Yawn

Yawn

We all feel tired from time to time (some of us more of the time than others). This tiger's yawn not only looks tired, but a little angry as well. It's such a great visual for when the alarm blares at you before dawn, or the clock seems to be stuck at 4:00 (both for those who work and those who anticipate the workers to come home), or when you're waiting up for your teen to come home in the wee hours of the morning. More tired than angry, but wouldn't it be great to have teeth like that to flash when you felt like it?

35 • Spring

Spring!

Forgive me for not being able to decide between these two photos. I am absolutely in heaven walking around the neighborhood, drinking in the scents and the gorgeous colors and textures of spring. How the earth does love to welcome the warmth of the sun after a long, dead winter!

34 • Miracle

Miracle

I continue to be amazed at how a little seed yields a new life. We hope to transfer these seedlings into the backyard garden in a few weeks.

33 • Art

Art

Niko and Stefanie attended an "art party" for two of their friends today. They had so much fun creating these projects. Every once in a while I am really amazed by what their minds and their hands work together to create. The top row are Niko's pictures, and the bottom are Stefanie's (including a portrait of me in the middle!).

32 • Surprise

Surprise

All this wonderful pink and blue is to celebrate the impending arrival of my koubara's next baby. Aren't babies such a beautiful blessing? There is much to say about this subject -- about how popular culture could greatly benefit from an increased appreciation for the joy and spiritual fruit of "growing" families -- and about the emotional benefits of spending time in person with our (facebook) friends, but I am going to leave all that for another post, and just let you know that those cupcakes tasted as good as they look. =)

31 • Perfume

Perfume

I've made a totally rookie photographer mistake -- trying to capture something that can't be captured by a camera. This bush smells so wonderful right now, thanks to the sudden appearance of these little flowers, that I felt compelled to photograph it. No matter what kind of picture I took, though, there is no way to show you how wonderful, down into your lungs, the air smells as you stand next to this bush. It's sweet, but not drippy sweet -- sweet like a hug from a dear friend. It smells sweet like the smile of a child after he's blown out his birthday candles. But you can't smell that looking at this photo -- and I'm sorry!

30 • Truth

Truth

I almost didn't choose this picture for today because the flower wasn't as pretty as it probably was just the day before. But the more I thought about it, I loved the composition and the colors, and I also loved that it was true. True usually means imperfection -- but thanks to photoshop et al we don't often have a true understanding of Truth. Family sitcoms don't depict constant need-meeting of motherhood (diapers, feedings, sleep routines, night wakings, etc). Magazines don't depict cellulite, body hair, or even unpainted faces. We don't tell ourselves the truth about what things cost (even if we do pay with cash, most of what we buy is made in a country that pays pennies on the dollar -- which means it is artificially lower-priced than it should be).

But despite the truth that this flower is already decaying, and its days (nay, hours!) are numbered -- I think this is a beautiful picture. There is a beauty in what this little piece of creation is doing, in the warm sunlight of this spring day -- and I'm glad to have captured it.

29 • Tree

Tree

Isn't this tree amazing? The lady who lives next door to this tree says it's an "awful thing." I found her raking up the few dozen petals that had fallen onto her nearby patch of grass, not looking up except to shake her head at a new escapee making its way down. She had not an ounce of interest, patience, or admiration for what I think is one of the most beautiful sights of spring. The tree soaks up all kinds of wonderful nutrients all summer and stores them carefully all winter so that she can welcome the first warm days with brilliance and gusto. There is hardly an ounce of green on this tree because she did all the hard work last year preparing for her coming-out party. The other trees are making their debut with flimsy little yellow-green leaflings, building up their strength for the flowers and seeds to come. I for one am glad to have these robust, proud petals proclaiming spring's arrival. (But then again, I don't have one to clean up after.) =)

28 • Newly Illumined

Newly Illumined

This sweet baby was baptized on Sunday. What a joy to witness! Fr Andrew took him behind the altar as part of the ceremony, and as they re-entered the church nave, the sun broke through the hazy clouds and seemed to dance on the two of them. Their expressions seem so similar -- the slightly furrowed brow, the vague upturned lip -- but one face has the lines of many years, and the other is a cherub of innocence. Worry and joy and peace certainly can each be felt -- but in such vastly different ways for the old priest and the infant child. A few more favorites.

...........................................................................

Some of you have noticed my lapse in daily postings. Like so many good habits, if you break from the routine even a day or two, suddenly it's been 10 and you have to struggle back into it. I have posted a picture for each day that I took them, and will start fresh tomorrow. Thank you for the encouragement!

27 • Pascha

Pascha

Wow, it was really hard to decide on a picture for this day! It was so special to me to photograph the children with their great grandparents participating in these wonderful Greek Orthodox traditions. Here Stefanie is exuberantly cracking eggs with Yiayia. Christos Anesti! Alithos Anesti! Christ is Risen! Truly He is Risen! Her eggs were absolutely demolished by the time she was done -- as they should be! The tomb is opened -- destroyed! -- and Jesus Christ lives! (Click here are a few more pictures from the day.)

26 • His Eminence

His Eminence

The first resurrection is, for me, the first exhale of Pascha. It is the celebration of Christ's descent into Hades and His crushing of the gates as He preached the Good News to the souls there. This day is marked by our dear bishop, Metropolitan Iakovos, joyfully throwing flowers around the church as he says "Arise O God! (and judge the earth)" (Anasta O Theos!). The children love this sweet man for his attention to their little plastic baggies -- he happily blesses them with handfuls of flowers stuffed directly into their zip-locks. The procession around the church is filled with the scrambling of little bodies across the floor as they gather the bay leaves and fresh flower petals in His Eminence's wake. The joy of the first resurrection, and the joy of this holy man connecting in such a tender way with the children, is my first exhale of the weekend. The fast continues, the preparations continue -- but the hope is real. The morning sky is lit, though the sun is not yet visible.

25 • Red

Red

My mother takes great pride in her red eggs. Some might say "it's just an egg" or, despite spots and uneven color might quip "Well, it still looks red." Those are not words my mother would ever utter, not on Holy Thursday in preparation for Pascha. Her eggs must be the perfect shade of red -- not pink, not brown. They must be consistent -- not splotchy, not spotted. They must shine. It is quite a process, which I photographed this year (much to her chagrin). Here is a link to the album.

24 • Spring

Spring

These tulips, a gift from my mother-in-law, opened fully today, and struck me as both beautiful and totally vulnerable. What a powerful image that is for us: in her most radiant state, where the fulness of her shape and color are visible, the flower is also totally delicate and powerless. No petals to protect her most inner and valuable self. Isn't that true in our relationships as well? When we are the most open, honest, and true to ourselves, we've also let down our guard. When we are totally intimate with someone emotionally (and physically), we give them power over us. Of course, we trust them to protect us. I suppose this is true also with God. When we are most honest with Him, and shed all of the facades and barriers we put up to "protect" ourselves, and show Him our true beauty (the way we were made in the first place!), how wonderful to His eyes that must be! We become totally vulnerable to His will---and though it sounds frightening to give up the wheel to anyone, who better to pilot the ship than the creator of the both the ship and the ocean themselves!

23 • Monster

Monster

The game Stefanie wanted to play with Yiayia today was called Monster. She would growl at Yiayia, and say "I'm a monster! I'm a monster!"--then tickle Yiayia with her little fingers. But that wasn't enough. Next, Yiayia had to be the monster. Stefanie had her 84-year-old great grandmother chasing her around the dining room, laughing "Monstah, monstah" in her sweet Greek accent. Stefanie's giggles and laughter were all the motivation Yiayia needed to sneak around the back way and surprise Stefanie as she came flying out of the kitchen. On days like today that were mostly melancholy for a woman who deeply misses "the way things used to be," Stefanie's willingness to invite Yiayia into her world is, I believe, a great gift.

22 • Peek!

Peek!

I don't have much to say today. Just that I was so excited to catch this moment on my camera. It kind of reminds me of The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe.

Kali dinami to all of my Orthodox friends this last week before Pascha.

21 • Tired

Tired

Even Steve's overalls look tired after a long day working on the new house. The way they hang there on the little hook in the bathroom, they look both rugged and exhausted. And usually dirty. I remember my dad's overalls in a similar way when he did the addition on the house. They are an image of the work. Worn, they are empowering. There are pockets for just about anything you could need or want at your fingertips. They won't slouch. There's no uncomfortable belt. Off, they always carry reminders -- a stain, a little tear, the faint odor of sawdust, paint, or solder. Off, they always look relaxed.

20 • Bread

Bread

Bread is such a labor of love. I think we really take it for granted these days, the way it comes, all sliced and perfect in a plastic bag closed neatly with a clip. We made little Lazarus loaves (Lazarakia in Greek) today, in preparation for tomorrow, the day we remember Christ raising his friend Lazarus from the dead. (I used this recipe from the evlogia blog, but also saw a similar recipe on the OrthodoxMom blog as well.) Nikolas, who loves to "help," actually turned out to be quite strong at kneading the dough. The whole bread-making process is this slow, methodical progression of allowing the dough to do what it has to do. It always amazes me when water, yeast, and flour (and in this case some spices, sugar and oil) transform into warm, comforting loaves of bread.

I can't wait to watch Nikolas and Stefanie pass out the little loaves to some friends tomorrow. "Lazarus, come out!"

Here is the photo progression of the rising of the dough, and the shaping of our little Lazarus men, wrapped as if he were in a tomb.

19 • Eggs

Eggs

Not all all Easter preparations are spiritual. Today my koubara and I filled plastic eggs with all kinds of sweet goodies. (She found an online vender who was willing to sell her all red eggs! Orthodox Christians have traditionally dyed their Easter eggs red to symbolize Christ's sacrifice, which gave forth new life.) I can't wait to see the kids, all dressed and cute, hunting around for the eggs with their friends. I can just see Stefanie running to me all wild-eyed, clutching an egg, saying "Look mom! Look! Look! I found one! I found one red egg! Look mom! Look!" I can also hear the negotiations between the two of them, as I am am guessing Nikolas will finally realize that the chocolate eggs are more valuable than the jelly beans. However it will all go, I am looking forward to the day and all the celebrating!

18 • Palms

Palms

I feel so deeply aware that Holy Week and Pascha are right around the corner. These weeks of preparation have really built up the anticipation! I noticed this icon today, which hangs by my parents' front door, with its collection of palms, daffodils, and bay leaves from the past year's worth of feast days. I love these artifacts we keep visible to remind us of what has happened. Something I remember hearing in school, "Those who do not know history are destined to repeat it," seems appropriate here as well. I'm thinking about Palm Sunday, and how excited everyone was to receive Christ into Jerusalem (he had just raised his friend Lazarus from the dead after all!) -- only to have the tides turn so nefariously just days later is very telling about society. I think the word we used in high school was "lemmings" -- that like these silly animals, so many of us are willing to just follow the crowd, even to our own demise. How can the crowd have gone from lining the streets as if for a King, exclaiming "Hosanna!" on Sunday, to gathering angrily to shout "Crucify Him!" by the end of the week? How different are we, though, when we observe so solemnly the Lenten fast and the church services of Holy Week, and then turn around so shortly after and recommence with our selfish, bad habits or mean-spirited behaviors. How long do we wait before we gossip or ignore, tear down others or build up ourselves? I know it is never very long for me, though I am ashamed to admit it.

May we all hold fast to this love and zeal we feel in our hearts right now, may we hold on to it for longer and longer every year, until we never let go.

17 • Meeting

Meeting

For the most part, children like to play on their own. Of course, they seem to like the presence of a favorite adult (e.g. mom), but they dwell happily in their own world, imagining roads for their toy cars, or tea in their little cups. Slowly, however, they begin to invite others into their play space -- and it's interesting to watch how it happens. They want it on their own terms, of course, and can't seem to understand why everyone wouldn't want to play duck-duck-goose with themselves designated as the first duck-er. One small interaction at a time, they begin to enjoy another's company. Another's smiles. Another's ideas. I think it's a beautiful process of appreciation -- one that is challenged today by the omnipresence of computer and television screens. Nothing can pull you outside of yourself the way the presence of another person, in the flesh, can. And isn't it true this is what our fallen world needs the most?

16 • Click!

Click!

My assistant Nikolas and I were on the prowl for a good picture this afternoon. After some decent shots of flowers, an unmade bed, and our icon corner, we took several of the wild animals that live in the green bin on the bottom shelf.

In the end, however, it was the candid photo of my trusty assistant that I decided was my picture of the day. He seemed to have fun shooting all kinds of pictures -- including every page of his favorite library train book. Like so many parents, I often wonder what hobbies my children will love or will excel at. It's funny -- when I was still pregnant with Nikolas I remember wondering what would make him laugh, eager to be introduced to his sense of humor. Almost five years later I laugh doubly every time he cracks a joke, or does something silly and then shoots me an expectant side glance, waiting for the response. I know I'll need always to remember that the children are their own persons, with their own interests and skills. I am sure that my own parents shake their heads and marvel at how differently the three of us kids turned out. But isn't that the beauty of parenting -- not living vicariously through them, but co-creating them, with God, as unique individuals. As their own unique images of God, they'll each reflect God in their own way, the way Light, shown through a prism, is castacross the wall in a myriad of colors. What a beautiful way to imagine one's family!

15 • Paschal preparations

Paschal Preparations

Sober Paschal preparations have been in full swing for many, many weeks, as we all know. But now, preparations of a different kind are building anticipation for the Feast of Christ's Resurrection in our home and especially the kitchen.

Starting back in early February, the church has been gently (and not-so-gently) guiding us through the steps to clean out our souls, filthy from inattention. Prayer and fasting have been the prescription, and their results are pretty amazing. It's like someone opening the blinds on these first warm sunny days, pulling the drapery all the way back, and allowing the bright light to filter in and reveal that which was hidden in the dark of winter: the dusty cobweb strings hanging in a corner, the fingerprints on the wall, the fine layer of grey that covers the figurines in the curio cabinet. Suddenly it's all visible, and filthy-looking -- and we are oh-so-motivated to conquer it all before the arrival of guests on Easter. But for the light of the Sun, we may not have even realized the house wasn't clean.

And then there's the baking -- the baking! With still two weeks to go, we've already baked the carrot cake cupcakes (now in the freezer), the kourabiethes (now soaking in the powdered sugar), and the tiropites (frozen and ready to go in the oven). Tonight we rolled out the first batch of koulourakia (pictured). All these special things we do to entice our guests, to show them how loved they are, and to set apart this day as particularly special.

Similarly, of course, we should be making a special place in our hearts for the arrival of the Guest of Honor. It's hard to believe that just two short weeks from right now we'll be in church, eagerly awaiting the Light of the Resurrection. I get a little shiver just thinking about that moment when all of these preparations come to fruition. There is nothing like Easter, nothing like the joy in your soul after preparing for the celebration. Nothing like opening wide the door at which Christ is always patiently knocking, confident that the dust and the cob webs have been wiped away, and that the table is filled with food appropriate for such a momentous occasion. Kalo Pascha everyone -- may these last two weeks of your lenten journey be blessed!

14 • Splash

Splash

The kids *love* to play with Steve. The house is never as loud or as joyful as when Daddio is "on the job" -- that's when the Big Bear gives rides, when the Squeaky Mouse sneaks into armpits for a nibble, and when the Hungry Eagle gives chase around the dining room table. The bathtub quickly becomes a stormy sea, and truncated Solo cups the unfortunate mariners. Whatever adventure is brewing, the kids are ready -- energetic participants in the world Steve creates. You would think, the way they squeal, that Steve really did just transform into a Big Blue Whale (who is the biggest animal in the ocean and therefore the strongest and fastest in any kind of chase or competition). These are the every-day memories I hope the children will keep and cherish always -- I know I will.

13 • Going 'round

Going 'round

We rode the carousel today.

The best part was reading on the children's faces what they were feeling in their stomachs. Their eyes were round, their lips turned in hesitant smiles as they clutched the golden poles. I thought this picture captured Niko's nervous excitement, as well as the motion of the ride.

12 • Water lilly

Water lilly

I understand Monet so much better now, having seen even this rather pitiful-looking water lilly. It was floating in a murky goldfish pond at the greenhouse near the park we visited today. You can see the pennies littering the bottom. This flower captivated me, despite its "aged" appearance. Was it the ray of sunlight? Was it the contrast of the white against the filth? Was it the flower's quiet dignity in this tucked-away corner?

I am going to leave my thoughts right there. I have had a beautiful, sun-filled, love-filled day, and while I see all kinds of places my thoughts can go, I am just going to let them rest on the mysterious beauty of this flower. If you want to share any thoughts, you are welcome to.